Winning the Battle in Your Mind about Porn
Part of you wants to not use porn, but part of you does. Chances are you, you have a battle in your mind for and against pornography. You need a way to defuse the part of you that wants to use it, and the first step here is listening.
Your internal battle about porn
When men describe the battle to not use pornography, they often say a part of themselves wants to use pornography, and another part of them doesn’t. These men often talk about these parts of themselves being in battle – one side argues for using pornography, and the other side argues for not using it. For some men, it can feel like a good part and a bad part of themselves doing battle.
Avoid taking sides too early
If you’re struggling with using pornography, it’s often instinctive to side with the part of yourself that doesn’t want to use pornography. After all, you are trying to stop or reduce using pornography. However, when you take sides it can often have unintended consequences. For instance, one of these unintended consequences is that you never actually take the time to seriously evaluate the pros and cons of using pornography.
If you never get to examine and take seriously your own arguments for using pornography, then you never get to effectively counter these arguments.
Listen to the sides for and against pornography
To help resolve this mental argument, take the time to examine the part of you that wants to use pornography. Get a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle. On the left side write down the arguments you have for using pornography. Keep thinking of new ones, keep writing them down.
Then, on the right side of the paper, write down the arguments for not using pornography. Try to counter all of the arguments for pornography with something about the downsides. When you finish, for each argument for using pornography you should have an argument against it.
When you understand, you can counter
How does this help? When you do this process, you get to understand all of the arguments that you have for using pornography. You also develop ways to counter each of those arguments, and build up your strengths to resist these arguments. You can do this because you’ve been through these arguments before.
Let me know what you think in the comments. Now, read about Three Paths: Stopping Porn Your Way.
– Tim Hill
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