Q. What happens in the counselling session?
A typical counselling session typically starts with you giving an update of what has happened since the previous session. From there, we focus in on what is currently most relevant for you to talk about. Along the way, I might ask you some questions in order to clarify my understanding, but it’s more typical that our discussions will be an exploration of your current difficulties and what you might do about them. There is often attention on passing on new skills and techniques to help you manage your pornography problem. Each counselling session lasts for 50 minutes.
Q. Do I need a referral?
No, you don’t need a referral. Just contact me and make a booking.
Q. What are your hours?
I work from late morning to 9pm Monday, Tuesday and Thursday in Richmond. In Sunbury, I work on Wednesday and Fridays; I can be flexible with online counselling to suit different time-zones.
Q. What are your fees?
My fees can be found here. Note that in most cases I offer a free initial consultation.
Q. How often do I need to come to counselling?
This is an individual decision and is worked out with your counsellor.
Q. How many counselling sessions should I have?
It’s impossible at the outset to determine how many counselling sessions you’ll need. However, once we begin, we will get a sense of how quickly you’re making progress which may give you some guide about how long the process will take for you.
Q. How will you know if counselling has been successful?
Once you start to counselling process, you should quickly get a sense of whether this process is helping resolve your difficulties with pornography. Further, I also use some very well validated tools to help you track and measure your progress in each session. In addition to how you feel, this provides some objective measures of the progress that you’re making in counselling, and it can also reveal to you so the changes that would be helpful to make the counselling even more relevant and helpful.
In addition, you will also gain an enhanced ability to monitor your own internal progress. If your goal is to stop using pornography, a period of time that you have not used pornography will also become a barometer of how well you are doing. My clients usually find that as a process continues they have a pretty good sense about when the counselling process should end.
Q. Is there free parking close by?
Free 1 and 2 hour parking is available close by to where I practice, on either Tanner Street (1 hour) or Stewart Street (2 hour).
Q. Is there disabled access?
The AKM Centre has lift access but the downstairs door to the street can be a little heavy – let me know if you will need help.
Q. Are you close to public transport?
Richmond station is only 2 minutes walk from where I practice – this station is a major stop on most of Melbourne’s eastern train routes. I am also within walking distance of tram route 70 (Swan Street), route 48 or 75 (Bridge Road) and route 78 or 79 (Church Street). Further details are available from the Public Transport Victoria site
Q. What sort of topics or experiences are suitable for a counselling session?
Whilst one of my areas of expertise is helping people with pornography problems, for many men the use of pornography is also deeply connected to other aspects of their life. These aspects of your life may also respond to counselling and it may be that once you start to make some inroads into your pornography use, it makes more sense to focus on other aspects of your life.
Typically, people come to counselling for one or more of the following issues;
- difficulties with relationships including intimacy and avoidance
- loneliness and separation
- substance use and abuse
- anxiety, stress and depression
- loss and grief
- other compulsive and addictive behaviours
- parenting and step-parenting
- personal growth and development
- life transitions and adjustments
- problems in the workplace
Q. What if my partner does not want to come to counselling?
The way I have structured my services mean that I can deal with individuals who want to deal with their pornography problems by themselves or as part of a couple. Furthermore, we can also change these arrangements as we proceed. For example, your partner is always free to join us for one or more sessions if you feel that would be helpful; in other circumstances, what starts as couples counselling then can give way to a focus on the individual. Whatever the circumstances, your needs are paramount and the counselling is structured to meet those needs.
Some men find that even beginning counselling on their own can demonstrate to their partner that they are beginning to work on their issues.
Q. Will counselling be confidential?
Yes, the topics you discuss in your counselling sessions will remain private and confidential. However, there are a number of exceptions where there is a need to:
- Prevent or lessen a serious/ imminent threat to someone’s life or health
- Protect a child or aged person.
- Prevent the commission of a crime.
- Prevent violence to a person or property.
Q. Do I have to prepare beforehand for a counselling session?
You don’t have to prepare for our sessions. However, it can be helpful for you to think about what you would like from the upcoming session. You might like to write down some thoughts about that. Some also find it helpful to spend some time after the session reflecting on what we discussed and what you experienced in the session.
Q. Are you anti-pornography?
No. However, the use of pornography can have a marked, long-term negative effect on an individual and their relationships. I work to understand and limit these effects, which for many people means not using pornography anymore.
Q. What are the different counselling approaches you use?
I am experienced and trained in using a range of different approaches to working with clients. The method I choose will depend on what’s most effective for dealing with your current situation. In many cases, an integrated approach is most useful for dealing with the range of difficulties that you might be experiencing.
Cognitive behavioural therapy: this approach focuses on understanding and managing thoughts, feelings and behaviours and how they interact. This approach is the basis for skills that can be useful for changing behaviours and attitudes regarding pornography use.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy: this approach explores unconscious thoughts and emotions and how they affect the way we live our lives. Often, the deep reason that men continue to use pornography is unconscious. When we can understand ourselves and our drives more fully, we are in a better position to work with them.
Solution focused therapy: this approach focuses on your existing strengths and developing solutions to problems rather than dwelling on understanding. It can be helpful in dealing with the immediate problems with pornography use, but at the cost of a deeper understanding.