Reducing Pornography Use: Is This A Valid Goal?
Some men don’t want to stop using pornography. For them, they don’t see pornography use itself as a problem. They feel that they don’t get influenced by the messages embedded in pornography and that it feels manageable. Some men are able to incorporate pornography into their sex life, and find that it enhances it. However, they have the goal of reducing pornography use anyway.
Changing pornography use, not stopping
However, even though they are comfortable with pornography, someone wants to change how they use pornography. Typically, these men want to change the frequency of their use of pornography, or the duration of each pornography session.
Pornography – too often, or for too long?
I often ask men about the exact problem with their pornography use. Is the problem:
- the frequency of your use of pornography?
- the duration of each time you use pornography? Or,
- that you use pornography at all?
This can be a key question for understanding your use of pornography and therefore what you want to set for yourself as a target. For some of you, your pornography use is something that takes very little time but is a problem because it occurs too frequently. For other men, it doesn’t occur very frequently but when it does, it takes up a lot of time – sometimes many hours. And for other men, both frequency and duration are both problems.
Fit the change to the problem
Some men are really only looking for a change in one of these two dimensions. For instance, perhaps you would be comfortable with the number of times that you use pornography if only you used it for five or 10 minutes at a time. On the other hand, perhaps you would be happy if you used it longer on the condition that you just used it far less often.
Helping and understand exactly what changes you want to make will help you get clear about how you might approach this problem and get closer to a better solution.
If you are looking to reduce your pornography use down to something more manageable, I offer individual counselling and couples counselling regarding pornography use in Richmond in Sunbury.
Let me know what you think in the comments. Now, read about Does Porn Cause Social Anxiety?
-Tim hill
Tim Hill
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