Pornography Relapse: Picking Yourself Up
The battle to stop using pornography has ups and downs. Men report some successes; when they stop using pornography or reduce its use, they often feel strong, proud and like they are getting on top of the problem. Success gives them confidence and a sense that they can eventually overcome pornography and the problems that come from it. However, pornography relapse can bring all this to an end.
Pornography relapse – struggling and failing
However, for many men, there are times when they struggle and fail. They lose the battle and aren’t able to keep away from using pornography. When this happens, men often experience a deep disappointment. They often feel ashamed and defeated; they have failed to follow through on their desire to not use pornography.
These men often feel like they have let themselves down, and let their family down too. They feel terrible.
Feeling bad leads to porn
The trouble is, feeling terrible is a trigger for many men to use pornography. They might have been doing okay, but that momentary failure seems to take the wind out of their sails. Next thing they know, a lapse has suddenly turned into a run of lapses and all hope and success seems lost; they can feel like they have taken a big step backwards.
Quarantine your losses
After you lapse it’s important to quarantine your losses; seize the moment and work quickly to put yourself back on the right course. This means immediately going back to what you know has been working for you before. Remember, you’ve had some successes – no reason you can’t have further successes.
Don’t dwell on your failure
It’s also very important to not dwell on your failure. No doubt you’re unhappy with lapsing, but sinking deep into that unhappiness only makes it more likely that you’ll have further lapses and begin a downward spiral.
Take a deep breath and get going
Far better that you accept that you had a lapse, acknowledge that you’re unhappy about it and then put your failure behind you. Take a deep breath, go back to what you know works, and get on with re-establishing the successes that you’ve already had. This is the way forward.
Let me know what you think in the comments. Now, read about Porn and Sexual Fantasy Development.
– Tim Hill
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