Stopping Porn Use: Your Immediate Action Plan
Stopping pornography is a battle, but a pornography action plan can make all the difference. On one hand, you’ve got the part of you that wants to use for pornography.
This part of you is saying:
- that it doesn’t really matter,
- it’s only just this once,
- that sexuality is natural and appropriate, and
- that no one will ever know.
On the other side, another part of you is saying that:
- afterwards you will wish you hadn’t done it,
- you said you wouldn’t, and
- that you know it’s not the right thing to be doing.
Staying stuck in the battle
Men can get stuck in this sort of will-I-won’t-I for extended periods of time, sometimes hours on end. It’s testing and frustrating and worse of all, it often ends up in you using pornography anyway.
Even if you don’t, then there might be some satisfaction in having won the argument, and that’s a good thing. However, you still spent a lot of time in argument with yourself.
The way out – have a pornography action plan
However, something that can really help is having a plan that you automatically activate when the desire to use pornography first comes into your mind. This action plan is something that you agree to beforehand, write down, and when the conditions are met you automatically do the behaviour you have agreed to.
Making the right plan
For instance, your pornography action plan might be that when you are at home by yourself and you start to think about using pornography, you execute an automatic behaviour.
This automatic behaviour might be that you will get out of the house and take yourself somewhere – like a café, or a shop – where you can’t use pornography, and that you stay there for a minimum period of time. Or, if you’re tempted to use pornography in the evening and your partner is at home, your Immediate Action Plan might be that you go straight to bed to be with your partner.
These aren’t sure-fire ways to stop using pornography. However, these are ways to stop the battle in your head about whether you will or whether you won’t; and that’s a battle that you can often lose.
If your struggling to devise or stick to your plan, I offer individual counselling and couples counselling regarding pornography use in Richmond in Sunbury.
Let me know what you think in the comments. Now, read about Does Porn Cause Social Anxiety?
– Tim Hill
Tim Hill
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